My relationship with God has not been fantastic of late. In fact, the last time that I had regular, meaningful meetings with Him was more than 6 months ago. This came after I spent amazing quiet times with Him, and wondered how anybody who experienced God that way could ever wander off course or away from such a beautiful place. Well, He showed me how…or perhaps, I allowed myself to find out how. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen through a series of intentional decisions…
Andy Stanley calls it the “Principle of the path”. Essentially it states that every decision we make affects the route that we end up taking toward a specific goal or destination. “To get from where we don’t want to be to where we do want to be requires two things: time and a change of direction.” We need to make intentional decisions to change our direction in order to reach our desired destinations - whether they are financial, relational, educational. He continues to state that nothing else determines our destination but our direction. Not out intentions, dreams, hopes or IQ levels. Nothing.
Throughout the period of time where I wandered rather far away from the regularity of intentionally spending sit-down time with God, I knew I had to change what was happening, and that it really was a matter of me simply making the decision to sit down and take time out with Him. I realised that I was not heading in the right direction, but kept going anyway. Funny enough, I also found myself making amazing decisions in other areas of my life. For instance I am managing my finances a whole lot better than I have in the past few years. After a year not doing any exercise and ballooning to my heaviest weight ever, I am finally taking control of my eating habits and exercise levels again. My productivity at work has improved significantly after our recent staff appraisals.
But Paul’s words to the Corinthians come to mind as I consider these things.
“1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.”and
“3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.”
(quoted from The Message)
Paul’s words in Phillipians 3:7-11 also resonate with my heart at this junction:
“7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”(quoted from the New international Version)
Other areas in my life can improve 110 %. If I don’t have God in it, I have nothing. Then it’s all pointless anyway. Because if I exercise, improve my productivity and manage my finances wisely to glorify Him and be a good ambassador in His Kingdom, it’s nothing but a clanging cymbal if I don’t connect to the King of kings, the Alpha and Omega, the Hope for all nations…Jesus Christ.
So last night I did, albeit just for a short while. I let go of my stubbornness, of my rebelliousness against the nudge that told me I had to do this. Intentionally. I pulled my Bible and journal closer, pondering how to approach the matter…like a girl approaching her dad after she did something she wasn’t supposed to. Still forgetting who God really is… But how faithful He was when I finally let down my guard and let go of my guilty feelings, and silliness, really. In the journal I was able to verbalise to Him the fears and uncertainties that have built up in my heart of late, over some things I have no control over. I didn’t elaborate (much) or go into any detail. I simply put pen to the paper and wrote the matters down in bullet-format. In my mind it doesn’t make any sense that this should make any difference. But somehow, in those few intentional minutes directed at my relationship with God, it was like so much has been lifted from my shoulders…again. And so much inspiration has been re-ignited. Hence this blog post… :) It’s these things about God that never cease to amaze me – that writing down a single word or solitary sentence to Him can say so much and bring such huge relief from the baggage we unnecessarily claim along the way.
Now this may seem quite elementary. But these are the things that impact my heart and life again and again. What studying Theology has taught me more than anything else so far is that, the more I learn about this God I serve, the more I realise that I don’t actually know anything about Him.
The depth and extensive, elaborate loveliness of who God is, is breath-takingly life changing. But at the same time, the wonderful simplicity of who God is, is beautifully comforting.
The stubbornness in me says that I’m okay now, surely I don’t need to meet with Him again soon. But I know that I am making yet another U-turn on this road. Intentionally. My intention or hope or dream to go deeper with God will bring me nowhere if I am not intentional in my daily decision making I to make Him a priority. From experience I know that it is more than worth it. Now, to relinquish my stubbornness to Him and revisit that map to see how far off course I am and which road will lead me safely to my destination.
No comments:
Post a Comment