This won't be one of those lengthy notes like I've written in recent months :) All that I basically wanna say today revolves around the various ways to spell "Love".
One way I spell it is J-e-s-u-s. The most obvious for me, and also the most amazingly beautiful and awe-inspiring of them all :)
Another would be F-a-m-i-l-y. Alot of you might agree. Mine is small-ish, so time spent together has become a rare but priceless commodity, especially since we're slowly scattering across the globe.
One of my favourite ways to spell 'Love' though, is F-r-i-e-n-d...in every way, shape, form or regard. Maybe it's because I don't have siblings, I dunno. And perhaps if I did, I would be looking at this v-e-r-y differently... ;P
The Oxford refers in it's Thesaurus to a 'Friend' being a "comrade, confidant, familiar, intimate, soul mate, playmate, ally, pal, chum, buddy, amigo, compadre, homeboy". And yes, of course family members can also be friends :) For the purpose of this note though, I'm referring to those people in my life to whom I'm not genetically related to. I'm referring to those who've made an impact on my life in one way or another, knowingly or unknowingly. You might never fully know how much I appreciate you. And I might not even have been looking for a friend per se, but there you were - in school, at church, at work, in a ministry, in a lifegroup... And I trust that you will know who you are.
Yes, I'm well aware that this might sound soppy to some :) But I'm past the stage of fretting about stuff like that. Life's too short to not let those who matter to us, know just how much they mean to us. Some of you might not know how much you've come to mean to me, regardless if you've been there for 20 days or over 20 years... Only God knows where our friendship will take us, and how long you're borrowed to me in the literal sense. But through our friendship, He has shown me that one doesn't have to be removed from someone for an extended period of time to miss them - sometimes a few hours can seem like a lifetime. He has also shown me that a heart can love in countless different ways and to capacities unbeknown to us.
So in closing I just want you to know that I love you, I appreciate you and value you. And more than all of that, I thank God for you, and all the beauty and colour and warmth that He brings to my life through you.
Have a wonderful festive season, and I look forward to see all of you again in 2009.
Lotsa Hugz & Blessings
x
11 December 2008
25 October 2008
Blue is an essential art of Purple...
Sitting here in the living room, watching & listening to the new Hillsong United DVD – “I Heart Revolution”... The whole morning I’ve had this feeling that You’re about to communicate something to me, and I wasn’t sure what. As I was busy getting ready to go to the store to get the DVD, You spoke into my heart so clearly that I should support the Blue Bulls in the Currie Cup Final today. I was like, “sure Lord”...not sure why though... :) But I believe that You also explained why You wanted me to, even though neither the Bulls nor the Sharks are actually the team I root for... ;D
I was excited, coz I felt You remind me of the feeling that I got when I saw the photo-montage of Pretoria, on the YA camp, with the Chris Tomlin song “God of this city” as backdrop. I remember the one picture with the Telkom tower, and in the front there are these beautiful, Jacaranda trees in fullbloom, covered in their awesome purple blossoms. I felt an almost overwhelming emotion flood over me then, and I kinda got a bit ‘deurmekaar’ with all that I felt then. And even in trying to explain it to someone the next day, I kinda fell over my words and it didn’t quite come together. But now... Eish! :D
Anyway, I felt that the reason You want me to root for the Bulls today, is coz:
1) I am living in Pretoria, and
2) Your favour is upon this city more than ever before, and that You are raising up a people that's on fire for and with You. And the reason You got me so excited about that photo montage, is coz You're gonna make Pretoria known for it's people and their hearts for You, as much as it's known for it's Jacaranda trees.
And I truly believe that. And I felt that You were saying that, if I were to really give my all for Your cause, for this city, for the young people in this city, I need to REALLY embrace everything that this city is about. And a big part of what this city is about, is Blue Bull rugby... :D
I don’t know that I am giving justice at all to the feelings that You’ve placed in my heart this morning. I still feel that I kinda suck at verbalising properly what I’m feeling when it comes to You. But I’m trying...really... ;D
Anyway, urging me to root for the Bulls today (and making me excited about it too!:D) is just a part of why I’m writing this now. As I’m watching the “I Heart Revolution” DVD, You’re bringing me to a renewed revelation of Your heart for EVERY person on the face of this earth...REGARDLESS of cultural, geographical, racial or religious background. You love EVERYONE, and really CARE for EVERYONE. At one point during the DVD I felt You ask me how I feel about Pretoria, truly FEEL about the city. And as I started thinking about it, I couldn’t help but get emotional and teary, coz I realised with quite a bang that I TRULY LOVE this city!!! (ALMOST as much as I love You, Lord!) And I mean, I really LOVE it. I know that I asked You a while ago to please never take me out of Africa, and a little earlier this year I also asked You to please not take me out of HCC. But it’s as if those feelings are just re-confirmed so regularly, and with such vigour and determination, that I really really wanna say and ‘formally’ request that You not take me out of Pretoria again...or at least until Your will for me here is done. I feel that I would still like to go on holiday to other places of course – hehehe! :D But what I mean is, as far as being rooted goes, I really wanna be here. I don’t know that I can explain exactly why, coz I don’t quite know why I feel so strongly about it. Especially in the political and economical climate we find ourselves in at the moment, here in SA and the world in general. It would be easier than ever for me to go, “Let me see if I could perhaps get a job in Oz or USA or something”. But I honestly don’t want to. I feel that Your will for me is to be here. I really feel a very very strong urgency in that regard. And for me, another confirmation of that is the fact that my car is blue, the journal that Pam gave me just before LTS is blue, and also, the ribbon that I found in my church-bag last week Sunday (still don’t know where it came from...) is also blue! Hehehe :D
But seriously though, last week Sunday, when I felt You say, “Don’t go overseas, I need you here”... I think it’s becoming clearer to me and it’s also sinking deeper into my Spirit. I’m at total peace with it. Something that really spoke to me now on the DVD is a comment that one of the guys from Hillsong United makes about not having to go across the world to see people suffer. If I can quote him:
“It happens on our doorstep, it doesn’t just happen on the other side of the world. It happens if we wanna look for it, if we wanna see it, it’s there. We don’t have to go far.”
Right after that, another guy says this:
“I think the danger is in seeing the need on the other side of the planet, and to miss the need that’s right on front of us.”
That is truth in its essence. Obviously You do call people from one country to serve in another, or people from one country to give to causes that benefit those in other countries. But those of us who aren’t called to do that, and especially young people like we are in Catalyst, with a vision and mission and heart for our city...more than ever we need to really walk the talk. More than ever we need to be Jesus to the people around us – be it at church, work, in the supermarket, petrol station, at a robot, EVERYWHERE. We need to stop living in a ‘bubble’ of sorts, always wanting to do ‘something’, but never really ‘getting around to it’.
I WANT to serve You, I honestly WANT to do Your will RIGHT HERE in this beautiful city that I (and countless other young people) call home – Pretoria. I want my heart to be where Yours is, Lord. I wanna see what You see, feel what You feel for this city, and of course, what You feel for its people.
And yes, I think I could probably stomach rooting for the Bulls on a permanent basis...seeing that I don’t actually live in Cape Town... Hehehe! ;D
I was excited, coz I felt You remind me of the feeling that I got when I saw the photo-montage of Pretoria, on the YA camp, with the Chris Tomlin song “God of this city” as backdrop. I remember the one picture with the Telkom tower, and in the front there are these beautiful, Jacaranda trees in fullbloom, covered in their awesome purple blossoms. I felt an almost overwhelming emotion flood over me then, and I kinda got a bit ‘deurmekaar’ with all that I felt then. And even in trying to explain it to someone the next day, I kinda fell over my words and it didn’t quite come together. But now... Eish! :D
Anyway, I felt that the reason You want me to root for the Bulls today, is coz:
1) I am living in Pretoria, and
2) Your favour is upon this city more than ever before, and that You are raising up a people that's on fire for and with You. And the reason You got me so excited about that photo montage, is coz You're gonna make Pretoria known for it's people and their hearts for You, as much as it's known for it's Jacaranda trees.
And I truly believe that. And I felt that You were saying that, if I were to really give my all for Your cause, for this city, for the young people in this city, I need to REALLY embrace everything that this city is about. And a big part of what this city is about, is Blue Bull rugby... :D
I don’t know that I am giving justice at all to the feelings that You’ve placed in my heart this morning. I still feel that I kinda suck at verbalising properly what I’m feeling when it comes to You. But I’m trying...really... ;D
Anyway, urging me to root for the Bulls today (and making me excited about it too!:D) is just a part of why I’m writing this now. As I’m watching the “I Heart Revolution” DVD, You’re bringing me to a renewed revelation of Your heart for EVERY person on the face of this earth...REGARDLESS of cultural, geographical, racial or religious background. You love EVERYONE, and really CARE for EVERYONE. At one point during the DVD I felt You ask me how I feel about Pretoria, truly FEEL about the city. And as I started thinking about it, I couldn’t help but get emotional and teary, coz I realised with quite a bang that I TRULY LOVE this city!!! (ALMOST as much as I love You, Lord!) And I mean, I really LOVE it. I know that I asked You a while ago to please never take me out of Africa, and a little earlier this year I also asked You to please not take me out of HCC. But it’s as if those feelings are just re-confirmed so regularly, and with such vigour and determination, that I really really wanna say and ‘formally’ request that You not take me out of Pretoria again...or at least until Your will for me here is done. I feel that I would still like to go on holiday to other places of course – hehehe! :D But what I mean is, as far as being rooted goes, I really wanna be here. I don’t know that I can explain exactly why, coz I don’t quite know why I feel so strongly about it. Especially in the political and economical climate we find ourselves in at the moment, here in SA and the world in general. It would be easier than ever for me to go, “Let me see if I could perhaps get a job in Oz or USA or something”. But I honestly don’t want to. I feel that Your will for me is to be here. I really feel a very very strong urgency in that regard. And for me, another confirmation of that is the fact that my car is blue, the journal that Pam gave me just before LTS is blue, and also, the ribbon that I found in my church-bag last week Sunday (still don’t know where it came from...) is also blue! Hehehe :D
But seriously though, last week Sunday, when I felt You say, “Don’t go overseas, I need you here”... I think it’s becoming clearer to me and it’s also sinking deeper into my Spirit. I’m at total peace with it. Something that really spoke to me now on the DVD is a comment that one of the guys from Hillsong United makes about not having to go across the world to see people suffer. If I can quote him:
“It happens on our doorstep, it doesn’t just happen on the other side of the world. It happens if we wanna look for it, if we wanna see it, it’s there. We don’t have to go far.”
Right after that, another guy says this:
“I think the danger is in seeing the need on the other side of the planet, and to miss the need that’s right on front of us.”
That is truth in its essence. Obviously You do call people from one country to serve in another, or people from one country to give to causes that benefit those in other countries. But those of us who aren’t called to do that, and especially young people like we are in Catalyst, with a vision and mission and heart for our city...more than ever we need to really walk the talk. More than ever we need to be Jesus to the people around us – be it at church, work, in the supermarket, petrol station, at a robot, EVERYWHERE. We need to stop living in a ‘bubble’ of sorts, always wanting to do ‘something’, but never really ‘getting around to it’.
I WANT to serve You, I honestly WANT to do Your will RIGHT HERE in this beautiful city that I (and countless other young people) call home – Pretoria. I want my heart to be where Yours is, Lord. I wanna see what You see, feel what You feel for this city, and of course, what You feel for its people.
And yes, I think I could probably stomach rooting for the Bulls on a permanent basis...seeing that I don’t actually live in Cape Town... Hehehe! ;D
29 June 2008
Daddy
Job 3:26 (NKJV)
"He shall pray to God, and He will delight in him, He shall see his face with joy, for He restores man to His righteousness."
Lord, You know that I pretty much suck at verbalising to others what I feel in my heart, both about them and about You... :) But You have somehow placed in me the ability to put these feelings into writing, which I'm still in humbled awe about. But I nonetheless thank You for it. However today, even as I feel all the inspiration and creativity bubbling inside, I can't seem to pen two words together without getting unstuck. So I'm just gonna address what I'm feeling and thinking, directly towards You.
You more than anyone know that so much has been going on in my heart and mind over the last few weeks. The things (re)learnt over the last 14 months of being back in the most awesome relationship anybody can have are just crazy awesome. Biggest of which is the fact that Your Love truly is unconditional. Nothing we can ever do can 'earn' it. You give it freely. At no cost. Nada. Nothing. Zero.
I am also reminded at the moment of all the areas in which You have brought about restoration and healing in my life. Wow. Words fall way short of the gratitude I feel in my heart towards You for that. A childhood stolen by a single senseless act of a total stranger, has been turned into an unrivaled love and dedication to kids...and through that, restoring my childhood by affording me the opportunity to volunteer at our Children's Church. And speaking about church...what a blessing! The Love You have shown me through the people You have brought into my life there...awesome. Thanks. And growing up as an only child with no siblings...hehehe, so much for that! Because You continue to bless me with new brothers and sisters, left right and centre! Especially at a time when there are a LOT of changes looming - attending Life Training School at church, moving in on my own for the first time EVER (sigh of relief from my parents... ;D), my parents moving to a different continent within the next three months (the only way they could get rid of me... :D)... Wow...
However, more than ever I am aware of Your awesome Presence and Provision for even me in that regard. It really seems that You have already started to 'replace' the physical presence of my parents with more (!) of Your presence through the deepening of certain existing friendships, and the unexpected and certainly undeserved gift of new friends (a.k.a. Brothers / Sisters). I am also humbled at all that You bring to my life in and through each and every person You bless me with - Love, wisdom, understanding, acceptance, inspiration, faith and hope...to name but a fraction of it.
The old friends also remain though, and I can see Your Hand in their lives as well, with an undeniable Touch in their lives from You...either bringing them to Your heart for the first time, bringing them back to Your heart, or just bringing them closer to Your heart. I am as ever speechless for that... All I can seem to muster right now is a humble and awe-inspired "Thank You".
But more than that even, You are slowly but surely showing me the true meaning behind You being my Father...my Abba. Do You think its co-incidence that the Afrikaans language word "abba" means to carry someone in "piggy back" fashion...? I don't think so. The original word loosely translated means Daddy, but I find it uncanny that in Afrikaans it also refers to You carrying us through whatever it is that we're facing. And that is also slowly cementing in me the fact that I truly need to keep looking to You as a child looks to their Daddy - totally and utterly dependent on Him for everything, Trusting Him for everything, and not thinking twice when He holds out His arms to embrace me...not once wanting to be "all grown up" in anything I do. What an awesome thought.
Thank You, Daddy, for all that You are to me, mean to me and do for me. Thank You that You see the depths of my heart and know my every hurt, joy and desire. Than You that I can trust in You to place in me the desires of Your heart for me, and that I can know that You will provide a way - in Your time - for those desires to come to pass, through the abilities You have blessed me with and continue to reveal to me as we go.
I love You.
"He shall pray to God, and He will delight in him, He shall see his face with joy, for He restores man to His righteousness."
Lord, You know that I pretty much suck at verbalising to others what I feel in my heart, both about them and about You... :) But You have somehow placed in me the ability to put these feelings into writing, which I'm still in humbled awe about. But I nonetheless thank You for it. However today, even as I feel all the inspiration and creativity bubbling inside, I can't seem to pen two words together without getting unstuck. So I'm just gonna address what I'm feeling and thinking, directly towards You.
You more than anyone know that so much has been going on in my heart and mind over the last few weeks. The things (re)learnt over the last 14 months of being back in the most awesome relationship anybody can have are just crazy awesome. Biggest of which is the fact that Your Love truly is unconditional. Nothing we can ever do can 'earn' it. You give it freely. At no cost. Nada. Nothing. Zero.
I am also reminded at the moment of all the areas in which You have brought about restoration and healing in my life. Wow. Words fall way short of the gratitude I feel in my heart towards You for that. A childhood stolen by a single senseless act of a total stranger, has been turned into an unrivaled love and dedication to kids...and through that, restoring my childhood by affording me the opportunity to volunteer at our Children's Church. And speaking about church...what a blessing! The Love You have shown me through the people You have brought into my life there...awesome. Thanks. And growing up as an only child with no siblings...hehehe, so much for that! Because You continue to bless me with new brothers and sisters, left right and centre! Especially at a time when there are a LOT of changes looming - attending Life Training School at church, moving in on my own for the first time EVER (sigh of relief from my parents... ;D), my parents moving to a different continent within the next three months (the only way they could get rid of me... :D)... Wow...
However, more than ever I am aware of Your awesome Presence and Provision for even me in that regard. It really seems that You have already started to 'replace' the physical presence of my parents with more (!) of Your presence through the deepening of certain existing friendships, and the unexpected and certainly undeserved gift of new friends (a.k.a. Brothers / Sisters). I am also humbled at all that You bring to my life in and through each and every person You bless me with - Love, wisdom, understanding, acceptance, inspiration, faith and hope...to name but a fraction of it.
The old friends also remain though, and I can see Your Hand in their lives as well, with an undeniable Touch in their lives from You...either bringing them to Your heart for the first time, bringing them back to Your heart, or just bringing them closer to Your heart. I am as ever speechless for that... All I can seem to muster right now is a humble and awe-inspired "Thank You".
But more than that even, You are slowly but surely showing me the true meaning behind You being my Father...my Abba. Do You think its co-incidence that the Afrikaans language word "abba" means to carry someone in "piggy back" fashion...? I don't think so. The original word loosely translated means Daddy, but I find it uncanny that in Afrikaans it also refers to You carrying us through whatever it is that we're facing. And that is also slowly cementing in me the fact that I truly need to keep looking to You as a child looks to their Daddy - totally and utterly dependent on Him for everything, Trusting Him for everything, and not thinking twice when He holds out His arms to embrace me...not once wanting to be "all grown up" in anything I do. What an awesome thought.
Thank You, Daddy, for all that You are to me, mean to me and do for me. Thank You that You see the depths of my heart and know my every hurt, joy and desire. Than You that I can trust in You to place in me the desires of Your heart for me, and that I can know that You will provide a way - in Your time - for those desires to come to pass, through the abilities You have blessed me with and continue to reveal to me as we go.
I love You.
06 June 2008
True Love
Proverbs 16:9
"A man's heart deviseth his way, but the Lord directeth his steps."
This scripture continues to ring true in every sense. God is indeed a faithful and awesome God. His promises stand true, and He is indeed in control of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...regardless of what the world wants us to believe..or what our emotions lead us to believe.
It's been quite a week since the Alpha Saturday last weekend. The idea was for the attendees to be filled with the Holy Spirit. However, God has shown me in a big way that we as facilitators are allowed to receive as well...and boy, has He ever given... :)
Have just been feeling such an increased presence of Him in my life this week. Been listening to the new Hillsong United cd's the whole week in the car, and even though I know most of the songs by heart, I still can't seem to get enough. I've never been a great reader, and scripture has never been able to 'stick to me', so to speak. But through the music, I am experiencing an unquenchable thirst for His presence and His Spirit. I also realised with a bang that I don't merely love Him anymore...I am for the first time really IN LOVE with Jesus. And for someone who's been single for most of her life...what a Man to fall in Love with, huh...? :)
Not even when I penned "I met a man...", did I feel His love so intensely in my life, nor did I feel it in return for Him as much...and I thought it was great then... :) There's an excitement in my Spirit and heart like never before, complete with the occasional butterfly or two flapping by. To be honest, I had actually forgotten what it's like to be truly in Love with someone. In the words from one of my favourite movies, "I've always quite liked You...truth is I never expected it to thunderbolt..."
Thunderboltcity. That's what I'm feeling at this moment. Probably sounds sad and cliched, but I don't care...anymore. He is my One True Love. He loved me before I was even born. To Him I am beautiful in every way. And to me He is my everything. I believe that He has started to speak to me about someone - a human being ;) - that He is preparing for me and preparing me for. But even that hasn't been able to draw me away from Him or wanting to be in His presence. The bumper sticker on my Facebook profile really rings true at this point in my life: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find Her"... All I can say to whoever it is God has in mind for me, is:
It won't be easy, but when you find me, I know that you'll also really have found Him :)
Thank you Jesus for truly being the Lover of my soul. Thank you for drawing me nearer to You in every way, and letting me closer and closer to Your heart for me. I want to serve you all my days, and with that I am and with all that I am not (yet).
I love you Jesus. You are my true First Love.
Amen.
"A man's heart deviseth his way, but the Lord directeth his steps."
This scripture continues to ring true in every sense. God is indeed a faithful and awesome God. His promises stand true, and He is indeed in control of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...regardless of what the world wants us to believe..or what our emotions lead us to believe.
It's been quite a week since the Alpha Saturday last weekend. The idea was for the attendees to be filled with the Holy Spirit. However, God has shown me in a big way that we as facilitators are allowed to receive as well...and boy, has He ever given... :)
Have just been feeling such an increased presence of Him in my life this week. Been listening to the new Hillsong United cd's the whole week in the car, and even though I know most of the songs by heart, I still can't seem to get enough. I've never been a great reader, and scripture has never been able to 'stick to me', so to speak. But through the music, I am experiencing an unquenchable thirst for His presence and His Spirit. I also realised with a bang that I don't merely love Him anymore...I am for the first time really IN LOVE with Jesus. And for someone who's been single for most of her life...what a Man to fall in Love with, huh...? :)
Not even when I penned "I met a man...", did I feel His love so intensely in my life, nor did I feel it in return for Him as much...and I thought it was great then... :) There's an excitement in my Spirit and heart like never before, complete with the occasional butterfly or two flapping by. To be honest, I had actually forgotten what it's like to be truly in Love with someone. In the words from one of my favourite movies, "I've always quite liked You...truth is I never expected it to thunderbolt..."
Thunderboltcity. That's what I'm feeling at this moment. Probably sounds sad and cliched, but I don't care...anymore. He is my One True Love. He loved me before I was even born. To Him I am beautiful in every way. And to me He is my everything. I believe that He has started to speak to me about someone - a human being ;) - that He is preparing for me and preparing me for. But even that hasn't been able to draw me away from Him or wanting to be in His presence. The bumper sticker on my Facebook profile really rings true at this point in my life: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find Her"... All I can say to whoever it is God has in mind for me, is:
It won't be easy, but when you find me, I know that you'll also really have found Him :)
Thank you Jesus for truly being the Lover of my soul. Thank you for drawing me nearer to You in every way, and letting me closer and closer to Your heart for me. I want to serve you all my days, and with that I am and with all that I am not (yet).
I love you Jesus. You are my true First Love.
Amen.
27 May 2008
Daybreak
Okay, at the age of 30 it seems (and feels!!) silly to write about this, but okay. Those who know me will understand, and those who don’t…oh well… (Hehehe!)
One would think that by now a person would’ve made peace with the fact that one is 1) an adult, and 2) one can make one’s own decisions…regardless of where you live. Not that that has anything to do with this piece, but anyway. The thing is though that, yes, I have accepted that I’m no longer a child – even though I act like one a lot lately (thanks to C4G!)…
Since last year, God has taken me on a journey that has tested my trust in both Him and myself. For instance: He has shown me opportunities to sign up for volunteer work at church, which I was perfectly fine with since I was looking for areas to help out with. Then someone at the Children’s Ministry referred to us one day as ‘leaders’, and it rattled me. It felt awkward at first, to be considered being a ‘leader’, when all I do really is just give what I have in abundance of – Time (especially since I’m still single and don’t have anybody to report to…hehehe!) To top it all, the volunteer-‘work’ didn’t feel like ‘work’ at all, so how could one then even be considered a ‘leader’…?? It was so much fun!
A big thing that dawned on me is that ACTUALLY I don’t have to look to everyone else around me for leadership and guidance all the time, and that we shouldn’t necessarily look to others as being the only leaders. Every one of us is a leader in one way or another, whether we realize it or not…or whether we like it or not… This has had (and continues to have) a profound effect on the way I view myself, it has boosted my self-confidence, and it also affects the way I approach tasks related to my volunteering in a beautifully positive way. However, even more than that, I have come to realize that it’s okay to be the one to step up to a challenge when everyone else is looking around for someone else to do it. Fact of the matter is, often times God gives the opportunity to be a catalyst to change – it’s up to us to take it, thank Him and run with it.
I believe there is a wealth of potential in each and every individual to be or do something great in and for God’s Kingdom. Not alone of course, by His Grace and His Spirit. And of course all glory and credit always goes to God. But the time for waiting for someone else to change things is over. I CAN and WILL be a leader for God – in however big or small capacity it might be. He has awakened me to a new day, and I already feel the first Son-beams touching my face.
Joining me?
One would think that by now a person would’ve made peace with the fact that one is 1) an adult, and 2) one can make one’s own decisions…regardless of where you live. Not that that has anything to do with this piece, but anyway. The thing is though that, yes, I have accepted that I’m no longer a child – even though I act like one a lot lately (thanks to C4G!)…
Since last year, God has taken me on a journey that has tested my trust in both Him and myself. For instance: He has shown me opportunities to sign up for volunteer work at church, which I was perfectly fine with since I was looking for areas to help out with. Then someone at the Children’s Ministry referred to us one day as ‘leaders’, and it rattled me. It felt awkward at first, to be considered being a ‘leader’, when all I do really is just give what I have in abundance of – Time (especially since I’m still single and don’t have anybody to report to…hehehe!) To top it all, the volunteer-‘work’ didn’t feel like ‘work’ at all, so how could one then even be considered a ‘leader’…?? It was so much fun!
A big thing that dawned on me is that ACTUALLY I don’t have to look to everyone else around me for leadership and guidance all the time, and that we shouldn’t necessarily look to others as being the only leaders. Every one of us is a leader in one way or another, whether we realize it or not…or whether we like it or not… This has had (and continues to have) a profound effect on the way I view myself, it has boosted my self-confidence, and it also affects the way I approach tasks related to my volunteering in a beautifully positive way. However, even more than that, I have come to realize that it’s okay to be the one to step up to a challenge when everyone else is looking around for someone else to do it. Fact of the matter is, often times God gives the opportunity to be a catalyst to change – it’s up to us to take it, thank Him and run with it.
I believe there is a wealth of potential in each and every individual to be or do something great in and for God’s Kingdom. Not alone of course, by His Grace and His Spirit. And of course all glory and credit always goes to God. But the time for waiting for someone else to change things is over. I CAN and WILL be a leader for God – in however big or small capacity it might be. He has awakened me to a new day, and I already feel the first Son-beams touching my face.
Joining me?
24 May 2008
Playtime
Puppet: (noun) a model of a person or animal which can be moved either by strings or a hand inside it.
- Oxford Paperback Dictionary & Thesaurus
"...that can be moved..."
Who? The puppet only...?
I beg to differ.
Puppets move humans. Of all ages. Don't believe me? Just make sure you attend whenever you see a Puppet Festival being advertised in your area or at your local church.
The recent Puppet Festival at our church had a profound impact on me...a human. The idea was just to go and learn and maybe "fun-up" up the way we do things at our children's church. What I got though, is so much more than just fun. It was a calling...even if it was only to wake me up! When I say that I ended up in the top 5 puppeteers for the weekend, it's not to brag, but to try and get it through to my own mind that it was indeed the first time that I had ever set hand inside a puppet...ever. Having one of the most skillful puppeteers in our children's church say to you at the end of it all, "Didn't I tell you you were good??"...that's awesome. Having God ask you a week afterwards what you want to do with this newfound talent...that's humbling...and scary...
There's so much more to Children's Church/Ministry that meets the eye. Signing up to volunteer for it shouldn't just be to fill up a Sunday morning or impress people at church. It should come from a place of genuinely wanting to impact and change the lives of little people. And with puppets, the job's halfway done.
During the festival, I found myself (more than once...) quite emotional during skits, as the messages being conveyed unexpectedly impacted on me. They made me realize anew the sincerity of God's Love. They made me realize anew the reason why I signed up as volunteer at our Children's Church. They made me realize anew that God is indeed a God of second chances, and that He has indeed started to give me back a childhood not completely had. If puppets had such a restorative impact on me, how much more wouldn't it impact on little people in our Children's Church...?
So I said to God that I would love to see a Puppet Ministry borne at our Children's Church. We allready have quite a few puppets, we certainly have the talent, and I am sure we could find the time. However, I also realized that in the Bigger Scheme of Things, we are but Puppets on the Hand of a Master Puppeteer. Ultimately He makes the decision(s) that fall within His will and path for our lives...much like a puppeteer decides what the puppet does or says, or even where the puppet enters and exits the stage.
So, in the meantime I am enjoying my playtime at Children's Church. A second chance at being a child. Uninhibited and full of "God's Love".
- Oxford Paperback Dictionary & Thesaurus
"...that can be moved..."
Who? The puppet only...?
I beg to differ.
Puppets move humans. Of all ages. Don't believe me? Just make sure you attend whenever you see a Puppet Festival being advertised in your area or at your local church.
The recent Puppet Festival at our church had a profound impact on me...a human. The idea was just to go and learn and maybe "fun-up" up the way we do things at our children's church. What I got though, is so much more than just fun. It was a calling...even if it was only to wake me up! When I say that I ended up in the top 5 puppeteers for the weekend, it's not to brag, but to try and get it through to my own mind that it was indeed the first time that I had ever set hand inside a puppet...ever. Having one of the most skillful puppeteers in our children's church say to you at the end of it all, "Didn't I tell you you were good??"...that's awesome. Having God ask you a week afterwards what you want to do with this newfound talent...that's humbling...and scary...
There's so much more to Children's Church/Ministry that meets the eye. Signing up to volunteer for it shouldn't just be to fill up a Sunday morning or impress people at church. It should come from a place of genuinely wanting to impact and change the lives of little people. And with puppets, the job's halfway done.
During the festival, I found myself (more than once...) quite emotional during skits, as the messages being conveyed unexpectedly impacted on me. They made me realize anew the sincerity of God's Love. They made me realize anew the reason why I signed up as volunteer at our Children's Church. They made me realize anew that God is indeed a God of second chances, and that He has indeed started to give me back a childhood not completely had. If puppets had such a restorative impact on me, how much more wouldn't it impact on little people in our Children's Church...?
So I said to God that I would love to see a Puppet Ministry borne at our Children's Church. We allready have quite a few puppets, we certainly have the talent, and I am sure we could find the time. However, I also realized that in the Bigger Scheme of Things, we are but Puppets on the Hand of a Master Puppeteer. Ultimately He makes the decision(s) that fall within His will and path for our lives...much like a puppeteer decides what the puppet does or says, or even where the puppet enters and exits the stage.
So, in the meantime I am enjoying my playtime at Children's Church. A second chance at being a child. Uninhibited and full of "God's Love".
13 April 2008
I met a Man...
Okay, so from the previous post one could gather where my Spiritual roots are...
Grew up in the stereotypical 'Christian home'. Didn't go to church every single Sunday, but often enough to make an impression on me from a very young age.
He was introduced to me then.
From singing Sunday School songs with a best friend (who just happened to live right next door) and recording those sessions on a portable tape recorder at the age of about seven or eight, to getting born-again at a Jeff Fenholt concert in my hometown of Witbank at the age of seventeen.
It's okay, very few people know who Jeff Fenholt is: He's a former lead singer of the group Black Sabbath, who got saved (that's when Ozzy came into the group) and started putting his musical talent and energy into Kingdom songs. He took his music on tour, and Witbank just so happened to be on his itenirary...and I just so happened to like rock music, despite efforts by the likes of Rodney Seale to convince the youth otherwise.
Long story short, I ended up going down onto the field with a fellow-pupil from my high school (and of course a crowd of other people), and there's no doubt in my mind that God indeed did something awesome in our lives that night.
I reached out my hand to Him.
As with many other new Christians, I didn't water the seed that was planted in my heart that evening. The result being that I finished school a year later, went overseas to be an au-pair in the USA and Netherlands, without REALLY consciously taking God with me. My Bible and daily devotional was never very far, but I undoubtedly didn't quite live life as a fulfilled Christian, and my relationship with God consisted of me being the only one doing all the talking, and not stopping to listen to Him even once. And even in that, our one-sided conversation didn't even take place every day.
Then I tuned into a local Christian radio station a few years after returning to my beloved SA permanently. They happened to be promoting a new cd from Hillsong United - whom I've never heard of until then and also played one or two of their songs. Being a person that likes rock music, I was very interested to hear this kind of Christian music. To top it all, the radio station was giving away free copies of the cd to people who would join them in being partners by donating an amount each month. Nou ja, I'm a sucker for good music, not to mention freebies! In the months that followed, it became my absolute favourite album to listen to in the car to work, to friends, everywhere. The lyrics really spoke to me and stirred up things in my Spirit which I've never felt before. God had already started to work with me through that album...
Just over a year ago, on 6 April 2007, I was on my way to Witbank to visit friends for the Easter weekend. I had turned 29 years old about two months earlier, and was sitting with some serious questions about life and where I was heading and how I was gonna get there, and whether it would be by myself, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...etcetera... :)
I left home that Friday morning, later than I had planned to, and was fully intent on listening to a 'mix' cd I had put together the night before. But something prompted me to tune into the local Christian radio station to listen to their Good Friday service being broadcast live that morning. As I tuned in and listened, it was literally as if every word in that message was custom wrote for me for that particular place where I was in my life, and right then I KNEW that God had an appointment with me that day. That message touched me unlike anything else has before, and it was so overwhelming that I started crying less than 5 minutes into the message. The tears weren't tears of sadness, but of overwhelming awe and gratefulness more than anything else really.
Just as the message came to an end, I lost reception of the radio station, and put in one of my Hillsong United cd's - still crying. At that point I was about 40km from Pretoria, and as was customary for me, I turned the United cd right up to about 30 on the cd player's volume dial...still crying! I started talking to God and asking Him questions like I've never done before, and it was right about then that a voice softly said, "Turn it down and you will hear". At first I thought I was imagining things, but sure enough, as soon as I turned the volume dial down quite a bit, God started speaking into my heart, answering questions as I drove, tears still flowing down my face like a tap that was left running. I got to Witbank with bloodshot eyes, but an overwhelming peacefulness over me.
He was now unavoidably & inseperably a part of my life.
Looking back I realise quite a few things. Firstly that it was only by God's grace that I reached Witbank safely that day, as I can barely remember anything about actually taking offramps and all of that, let alone see where I was going as I was crying so much!! Also, I realise that God is indeed a faithful God, Who always keeps His promises and makes a way for things that He asks of us. I have come a long way in the year since I've been in this awesome (two-way!) relationship with God, but realise that I still have a long way to go.
But no doubt, my heart belongs to Him.
Grew up in the stereotypical 'Christian home'. Didn't go to church every single Sunday, but often enough to make an impression on me from a very young age.
He was introduced to me then.
From singing Sunday School songs with a best friend (who just happened to live right next door) and recording those sessions on a portable tape recorder at the age of about seven or eight, to getting born-again at a Jeff Fenholt concert in my hometown of Witbank at the age of seventeen.
It's okay, very few people know who Jeff Fenholt is: He's a former lead singer of the group Black Sabbath, who got saved (that's when Ozzy came into the group) and started putting his musical talent and energy into Kingdom songs. He took his music on tour, and Witbank just so happened to be on his itenirary...and I just so happened to like rock music, despite efforts by the likes of Rodney Seale to convince the youth otherwise.
Long story short, I ended up going down onto the field with a fellow-pupil from my high school (and of course a crowd of other people), and there's no doubt in my mind that God indeed did something awesome in our lives that night.
I reached out my hand to Him.
As with many other new Christians, I didn't water the seed that was planted in my heart that evening. The result being that I finished school a year later, went overseas to be an au-pair in the USA and Netherlands, without REALLY consciously taking God with me. My Bible and daily devotional was never very far, but I undoubtedly didn't quite live life as a fulfilled Christian, and my relationship with God consisted of me being the only one doing all the talking, and not stopping to listen to Him even once. And even in that, our one-sided conversation didn't even take place every day.
Then I tuned into a local Christian radio station a few years after returning to my beloved SA permanently. They happened to be promoting a new cd from Hillsong United - whom I've never heard of until then and also played one or two of their songs. Being a person that likes rock music, I was very interested to hear this kind of Christian music. To top it all, the radio station was giving away free copies of the cd to people who would join them in being partners by donating an amount each month. Nou ja, I'm a sucker for good music, not to mention freebies! In the months that followed, it became my absolute favourite album to listen to in the car to work, to friends, everywhere. The lyrics really spoke to me and stirred up things in my Spirit which I've never felt before. God had already started to work with me through that album...
Just over a year ago, on 6 April 2007, I was on my way to Witbank to visit friends for the Easter weekend. I had turned 29 years old about two months earlier, and was sitting with some serious questions about life and where I was heading and how I was gonna get there, and whether it would be by myself, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...etcetera... :)
I left home that Friday morning, later than I had planned to, and was fully intent on listening to a 'mix' cd I had put together the night before. But something prompted me to tune into the local Christian radio station to listen to their Good Friday service being broadcast live that morning. As I tuned in and listened, it was literally as if every word in that message was custom wrote for me for that particular place where I was in my life, and right then I KNEW that God had an appointment with me that day. That message touched me unlike anything else has before, and it was so overwhelming that I started crying less than 5 minutes into the message. The tears weren't tears of sadness, but of overwhelming awe and gratefulness more than anything else really.
Just as the message came to an end, I lost reception of the radio station, and put in one of my Hillsong United cd's - still crying. At that point I was about 40km from Pretoria, and as was customary for me, I turned the United cd right up to about 30 on the cd player's volume dial...still crying! I started talking to God and asking Him questions like I've never done before, and it was right about then that a voice softly said, "Turn it down and you will hear". At first I thought I was imagining things, but sure enough, as soon as I turned the volume dial down quite a bit, God started speaking into my heart, answering questions as I drove, tears still flowing down my face like a tap that was left running. I got to Witbank with bloodshot eyes, but an overwhelming peacefulness over me.
He was now unavoidably & inseperably a part of my life.
Looking back I realise quite a few things. Firstly that it was only by God's grace that I reached Witbank safely that day, as I can barely remember anything about actually taking offramps and all of that, let alone see where I was going as I was crying so much!! Also, I realise that God is indeed a faithful God, Who always keeps His promises and makes a way for things that He asks of us. I have come a long way in the year since I've been in this awesome (two-way!) relationship with God, but realise that I still have a long way to go.
But no doubt, my heart belongs to Him.
02 April 2008
SHINE! (not the movie with Geoffrey Rush...)
In a recent Cell meeting, we were discussing the reason behind Christian life being so challenging. We came to the conclusion that life as a non-Christian is easy because one doesn't experience the whole spiritual battle for one's life...nor are all the demons and satan himself so mobilized as when a person gives his/her life to God!
This in turn has lead me to ponder how we live once we've stepped into the wonderful life which is that of a Christian, with all of God's promises and protection... Why do we then still conform the ways of the world and just give in to all of the negativity and hopelessness in it?
I'm thinking about things in SA in particular, as so many people (Christians too!) talk WITH the newspaper headlines and news bulletin reporters. I have found it increasingly challenging to keep a hold on the (unhealthy...?) dose of optimism which I believe God has blessed me with, especially with friends and family members falling into the 'doom & gloom' train of thought propagated by the media. I refuse to accept things as they are and just sit back and hand control to the enemy. I also refuse to leave the country 'because of everything that is happening' (or not happening, in some cases). Call me an idealist, call me dreamer, I don't care anymore. The fact of the matter is that we are ordained by God to SHINE His light through us where there is darkness. And yes, mostly this means that we should be doing this when it is NOT comfortable to do so... What's the use of putting on a light in broad daylight, i.e. being a fully fledged Chrisian at church, cell meetings and the like...? The light isn't needed in those places, it's already there! Let's be the ENTIRE and FULL-BLOWN person who God made each and everyone of us to be, in all apects, especially the new person we came to be through accepting Him. ESPECIALLY when we don't feel like it, or when it's not comfortable.
This in turn has lead me to ponder how we live once we've stepped into the wonderful life which is that of a Christian, with all of God's promises and protection... Why do we then still conform the ways of the world and just give in to all of the negativity and hopelessness in it?
I'm thinking about things in SA in particular, as so many people (Christians too!) talk WITH the newspaper headlines and news bulletin reporters. I have found it increasingly challenging to keep a hold on the (unhealthy...?) dose of optimism which I believe God has blessed me with, especially with friends and family members falling into the 'doom & gloom' train of thought propagated by the media. I refuse to accept things as they are and just sit back and hand control to the enemy. I also refuse to leave the country 'because of everything that is happening' (or not happening, in some cases). Call me an idealist, call me dreamer, I don't care anymore. The fact of the matter is that we are ordained by God to SHINE His light through us where there is darkness. And yes, mostly this means that we should be doing this when it is NOT comfortable to do so... What's the use of putting on a light in broad daylight, i.e. being a fully fledged Chrisian at church, cell meetings and the like...? The light isn't needed in those places, it's already there! Let's be the ENTIRE and FULL-BLOWN person who God made each and everyone of us to be, in all apects, especially the new person we came to be through accepting Him. ESPECIALLY when we don't feel like it, or when it's not comfortable.
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