Job 3:26 (NKJV)
"He shall pray to God, and He will delight in him, He shall see his face with joy, for He restores man to His righteousness."
Lord, You know that I pretty much suck at verbalising to others what I feel in my heart, both about them and about You... :) But You have somehow placed in me the ability to put these feelings into writing, which I'm still in humbled awe about. But I nonetheless thank You for it. However today, even as I feel all the inspiration and creativity bubbling inside, I can't seem to pen two words together without getting unstuck. So I'm just gonna address what I'm feeling and thinking, directly towards You.
You more than anyone know that so much has been going on in my heart and mind over the last few weeks. The things (re)learnt over the last 14 months of being back in the most awesome relationship anybody can have are just crazy awesome. Biggest of which is the fact that Your Love truly is unconditional. Nothing we can ever do can 'earn' it. You give it freely. At no cost. Nada. Nothing. Zero.
I am also reminded at the moment of all the areas in which You have brought about restoration and healing in my life. Wow. Words fall way short of the gratitude I feel in my heart towards You for that. A childhood stolen by a single senseless act of a total stranger, has been turned into an unrivaled love and dedication to kids...and through that, restoring my childhood by affording me the opportunity to volunteer at our Children's Church. And speaking about church...what a blessing! The Love You have shown me through the people You have brought into my life there...awesome. Thanks. And growing up as an only child with no siblings...hehehe, so much for that! Because You continue to bless me with new brothers and sisters, left right and centre! Especially at a time when there are a LOT of changes looming - attending Life Training School at church, moving in on my own for the first time EVER (sigh of relief from my parents... ;D), my parents moving to a different continent within the next three months (the only way they could get rid of me... :D)... Wow...
However, more than ever I am aware of Your awesome Presence and Provision for even me in that regard. It really seems that You have already started to 'replace' the physical presence of my parents with more (!) of Your presence through the deepening of certain existing friendships, and the unexpected and certainly undeserved gift of new friends (a.k.a. Brothers / Sisters). I am also humbled at all that You bring to my life in and through each and every person You bless me with - Love, wisdom, understanding, acceptance, inspiration, faith and hope...to name but a fraction of it.
The old friends also remain though, and I can see Your Hand in their lives as well, with an undeniable Touch in their lives from You...either bringing them to Your heart for the first time, bringing them back to Your heart, or just bringing them closer to Your heart. I am as ever speechless for that... All I can seem to muster right now is a humble and awe-inspired "Thank You".
But more than that even, You are slowly but surely showing me the true meaning behind You being my Father...my Abba. Do You think its co-incidence that the Afrikaans language word "abba" means to carry someone in "piggy back" fashion...? I don't think so. The original word loosely translated means Daddy, but I find it uncanny that in Afrikaans it also refers to You carrying us through whatever it is that we're facing. And that is also slowly cementing in me the fact that I truly need to keep looking to You as a child looks to their Daddy - totally and utterly dependent on Him for everything, Trusting Him for everything, and not thinking twice when He holds out His arms to embrace me...not once wanting to be "all grown up" in anything I do. What an awesome thought.
Thank You, Daddy, for all that You are to me, mean to me and do for me. Thank You that You see the depths of my heart and know my every hurt, joy and desire. Than You that I can trust in You to place in me the desires of Your heart for me, and that I can know that You will provide a way - in Your time - for those desires to come to pass, through the abilities You have blessed me with and continue to reveal to me as we go.
I love You.
29 June 2008
06 June 2008
True Love
Proverbs 16:9
"A man's heart deviseth his way, but the Lord directeth his steps."
This scripture continues to ring true in every sense. God is indeed a faithful and awesome God. His promises stand true, and He is indeed in control of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...regardless of what the world wants us to believe..or what our emotions lead us to believe.
It's been quite a week since the Alpha Saturday last weekend. The idea was for the attendees to be filled with the Holy Spirit. However, God has shown me in a big way that we as facilitators are allowed to receive as well...and boy, has He ever given... :)
Have just been feeling such an increased presence of Him in my life this week. Been listening to the new Hillsong United cd's the whole week in the car, and even though I know most of the songs by heart, I still can't seem to get enough. I've never been a great reader, and scripture has never been able to 'stick to me', so to speak. But through the music, I am experiencing an unquenchable thirst for His presence and His Spirit. I also realised with a bang that I don't merely love Him anymore...I am for the first time really IN LOVE with Jesus. And for someone who's been single for most of her life...what a Man to fall in Love with, huh...? :)
Not even when I penned "I met a man...", did I feel His love so intensely in my life, nor did I feel it in return for Him as much...and I thought it was great then... :) There's an excitement in my Spirit and heart like never before, complete with the occasional butterfly or two flapping by. To be honest, I had actually forgotten what it's like to be truly in Love with someone. In the words from one of my favourite movies, "I've always quite liked You...truth is I never expected it to thunderbolt..."
Thunderboltcity. That's what I'm feeling at this moment. Probably sounds sad and cliched, but I don't care...anymore. He is my One True Love. He loved me before I was even born. To Him I am beautiful in every way. And to me He is my everything. I believe that He has started to speak to me about someone - a human being ;) - that He is preparing for me and preparing me for. But even that hasn't been able to draw me away from Him or wanting to be in His presence. The bumper sticker on my Facebook profile really rings true at this point in my life: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find Her"... All I can say to whoever it is God has in mind for me, is:
It won't be easy, but when you find me, I know that you'll also really have found Him :)
Thank you Jesus for truly being the Lover of my soul. Thank you for drawing me nearer to You in every way, and letting me closer and closer to Your heart for me. I want to serve you all my days, and with that I am and with all that I am not (yet).
I love you Jesus. You are my true First Love.
Amen.
"A man's heart deviseth his way, but the Lord directeth his steps."
This scripture continues to ring true in every sense. God is indeed a faithful and awesome God. His promises stand true, and He is indeed in control of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...regardless of what the world wants us to believe..or what our emotions lead us to believe.
It's been quite a week since the Alpha Saturday last weekend. The idea was for the attendees to be filled with the Holy Spirit. However, God has shown me in a big way that we as facilitators are allowed to receive as well...and boy, has He ever given... :)
Have just been feeling such an increased presence of Him in my life this week. Been listening to the new Hillsong United cd's the whole week in the car, and even though I know most of the songs by heart, I still can't seem to get enough. I've never been a great reader, and scripture has never been able to 'stick to me', so to speak. But through the music, I am experiencing an unquenchable thirst for His presence and His Spirit. I also realised with a bang that I don't merely love Him anymore...I am for the first time really IN LOVE with Jesus. And for someone who's been single for most of her life...what a Man to fall in Love with, huh...? :)
Not even when I penned "I met a man...", did I feel His love so intensely in my life, nor did I feel it in return for Him as much...and I thought it was great then... :) There's an excitement in my Spirit and heart like never before, complete with the occasional butterfly or two flapping by. To be honest, I had actually forgotten what it's like to be truly in Love with someone. In the words from one of my favourite movies, "I've always quite liked You...truth is I never expected it to thunderbolt..."
Thunderboltcity. That's what I'm feeling at this moment. Probably sounds sad and cliched, but I don't care...anymore. He is my One True Love. He loved me before I was even born. To Him I am beautiful in every way. And to me He is my everything. I believe that He has started to speak to me about someone - a human being ;) - that He is preparing for me and preparing me for. But even that hasn't been able to draw me away from Him or wanting to be in His presence. The bumper sticker on my Facebook profile really rings true at this point in my life: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find Her"... All I can say to whoever it is God has in mind for me, is:
It won't be easy, but when you find me, I know that you'll also really have found Him :)
Thank you Jesus for truly being the Lover of my soul. Thank you for drawing me nearer to You in every way, and letting me closer and closer to Your heart for me. I want to serve you all my days, and with that I am and with all that I am not (yet).
I love you Jesus. You are my true First Love.
Amen.
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