Daddy

Job 3:26 (NKJV)
"He shall pray to God, and He will delight in him, He shall see his face with joy, for He restores man to His righteousness."

Lord, You know that I pretty much suck at verbalising to others what I feel in my heart, both about them and about You... :) But You have somehow placed in me the ability to put these feelings into writing, which I'm still in humbled awe about. But I nonetheless thank You for it. However today, even as I feel all the inspiration and creativity bubbling inside, I can't seem to pen two words together without getting unstuck. So I'm just gonna address what I'm feeling and thinking, directly towards You.

You more than anyone know that so much has been going on in my heart and mind over the last few weeks. The things (re)learnt over the last 14 months of being back in the most awesome relationship anybody can have are just crazy awesome. Biggest of which is the fact that Your Love truly is unconditional. Nothing we can ever do can 'earn' it. You give it freely. At no cost. Nada. Nothing. Zero.

I am also reminded at the moment of all the areas in which You have brought about restoration and healing in my life. Wow. Words fall way short of the gratitude I feel in my heart towards You for that. A childhood stolen by a single senseless act of a total stranger, has been turned into an unrivaled love and dedication to kids...and through that, restoring my childhood by affording me the opportunity to volunteer at our Children's Church. And speaking about church...what a blessing! The Love You have shown me through the people You have brought into my life there...awesome. Thanks. And growing up as an only child with no siblings...hehehe, so much for that! Because You continue to bless me with new brothers and sisters, left right and centre! Especially at a time when there are a LOT of changes looming - attending Life Training School at church, moving in on my own for the first time EVER (sigh of relief from my parents... ;D), my parents moving to a different continent within the next three months (the only way they could get rid of me... :D)... Wow...

However, more than ever I am aware of Your awesome Presence and Provision for even me in that regard. It really seems that You have already started to 'replace' the physical presence of my parents with more (!) of Your presence through the deepening of certain existing friendships, and the unexpected and certainly undeserved gift of new friends (a.k.a. Brothers / Sisters). I am also humbled at all that You bring to my life in and through each and every person You bless me with - Love, wisdom, understanding, acceptance, inspiration, faith and hope...to name but a fraction of it.

The old friends also remain though, and I can see Your Hand in their lives as well, with an undeniable Touch in their lives from You...either bringing them to Your heart for the first time, bringing them back to Your heart, or just bringing them closer to Your heart. I am as ever speechless for that... All I can seem to muster right now is a humble and awe-inspired "Thank You".

But more than that even, You are slowly but surely showing me the true meaning behind You being my Father...my Abba. Do You think its co-incidence that the Afrikaans language word "abba" means to carry someone in "piggy back" fashion...? I don't think so. The original word loosely translated means Daddy, but I find it uncanny that in Afrikaans it also refers to You carrying us through whatever it is that we're facing. And that is also slowly cementing in me the fact that I truly need to keep looking to You as a child looks to their Daddy - totally and utterly dependent on Him for everything, Trusting Him for everything, and not thinking twice when He holds out His arms to embrace me...not once wanting to be "all grown up" in anything I do. What an awesome thought.

Thank You, Daddy, for all that You are to me, mean to me and do for me. Thank You that You see the depths of my heart and know my every hurt, joy and desire. Than You that I can trust in You to place in me the desires of Your heart for me, and that I can know that You will provide a way - in Your time - for those desires to come to pass, through the abilities You have blessed me with and continue to reveal to me as we go.

I love You.