I awoke this morning with a song called "Like an avalanche" by Hillsong United playing in my mind and heart. Whilst listening to the song on my phone and getting ready for work this morning, I was yet again overcome by the mere thought of the extent of God's love and grace towards me - a broken, sinful human being. Trying to fathom just how much the sacrifice of Jesus accomplished for me - for all mankind - has proven to be both fruitful and fruitless. What often remains when I consider it however is its enormity. And a fresh realisation of utter humility which Jesus showed by His TOTAL obedience to the Father...because of His relationship with and love for the Father.
Helping me along on this great and challenging journey of humility, motive and attitude adjustments, was another email that I received from the early-Friday-morning-meeting people. I once again felt to share it with you, so it is included below. It feels like an awful lot for me to process properly and to convey effectively using the blog-medium. But I hope that you will take courage in the fact that we are human, God is GOD and His love & grace really DOES cover us. It does not mean that we do not have to deal with our own stinky attitudes or admit to still missing the mark after having been a believer for what we consider to be "such a long time". As with anything God however, it is the attitude and motive in our HEART that determines the amount of true growth and maturity that occurs in our journey with Him.
Merold Westphal cites a case study of a misbehaving young daughter of very
strict parents. Bizarrely, (i) she was quite deliberate in making sure she
would get caught out and (ii) punishment didn't change her one bit. Did
she have some kind of disorder? No. It turns out she was simply "buying"
permission to misbehave by accepting the punishment that came with it. In
essence, she was saying "it's OK for me to do this - I can pay". She paid
the price, and thus owed nothing. This, according to people like Freud, it
how many people use religion; they don't want to change their lives, they
want psychological self-justification. I go to church and drop an offering,
I do penance, I placate God.
Tim Keller contrasts 2 very different ways of being sorry. He calls these
"religious" repentance and "gospel" repentance. Religious repentance is
when we try to keep the powers that be (God, the ancestors, the karmic
forces, ...) well-disposed towards us so that they will continue to bless
us. Here, we are sorry for our sin only because of its possible
consequences. Perhaps we can convince God (and ourselves) that we are so
truly miserable and regretful that we deserve to be forgiven.
Gospel repentance, in contrast, is not self-centred but God-centred. Here,
we are sorry for the sin itself. We do not need to make ourselves suffer
to merit God's forgiveness; instead we receive the forgiveness earned by
Christ - because the penalty has already been suffered by Christ himself.
Whereas religious repentance is traumatic (because it's hard to admit I
have failed if I have set my hope in my moral goodness), gospel repentance
is primarily liberating (I know I am loved & accepted). This, says Keller,
creates a thoroughly new dynamic for personal growth. We become more aware
of how "precious, electrifying and amazing" God's grace is, and we become
more able to drop our denials and self-defenses. [1]
[1] The Merold Westphal is recounted in the podcast "Losing My Religion -
Why Christians Should Drop Their Religion" by Tim Keller, available for
free on the iTunes store. The 2 ways to repent are abridged & paraphrased
in "gospel in life" (study guide by Tim Keller), p28-29.
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